bigurgitative - what goes down must come up
catalog - list of everything you've done with cats
caution - don't listen to crows
cloe - singular form of the word "clothes"
cocktail - have you removed the feathers yet?
cold - sometime in the past, somebody had to coal it
debut - rear end removal
deductable - this table removes birds
delighted - left in the dark
detailed - an unnaturally tailless cat
deviled - has had the vile removed
discovery - removing blankets from people's beds while they're asleep
douglas - special material for airplane windows
economics - the verbal study of mice
exit - what a hen does after laying
fulfilled - twice as much as halfilled
gastrochronicity - getting hungry by the clock
gullible - open to attack by sea birds
hogwash - got any dirty hogs?
impeccable - birdproof
income tax - the tacks you keep around to display the things you get
layer - hen
miracle - an event which requires things to be different from reality
mister - something like a vaporizer
newbie - what you get when a bee's egg hatches
number - local anesthetic
offer - assassin
overwhelmed - just how much whelming is the right amount?
plymouth - medical condition caused by eating too many tires
politics - a large number of small parasitic animals
rejoice - how did you like joicing the first time?
retail - help a "detailed" cat
ruthless - if you need ruth so much, call her
sammable - can you guess what this means?
thermowheelometry - telling how hot it is by trying to touch the steering wheel of a car that's been outside
ungetoverwithable - seeming to last forever
washable - give your bull a bath
wishy washy - wanting a new washing machine
Xidiotic - like "idiotic" but worse and more persistant
{a few I didnt create but found elsewhere}
asset - a small donkey
fibula - a small lie
illegal - a big sick bird
percussive maintenance - the art of smacking an electronic device to get it working again
My collection of real cut-and-pasted inappropriate apostrophes:
(now being assembled in real-time)
acronym's
act's
alkaline's (batteries)
American's
ancestor's
antenna's
antique's
area's
array's
art's
attorney's
Bayou's
beam's
bin's
bit's (pieces)
blocking's
box's
broadcast's
cake's
call's
camera's
can's
Canadian's
candie's
card's
case's
Cat's (Tidy Cat's litter)
channel's
circuit's
class's
cleaner's (air cleaners)
Compaq's
company's
computer's
contractor's
cookie's
corner's
Cop's
cost's
croak's
customer's
day's
degree's
desk's
desktop's
DirecTiVo's
distro's (distributions)
doc's (documentation)
driver's
drum's
electrician's
electronic's
emu's (emulators)
emulator's
eon's
error's
Exec's (executives)
extra's
eye's
fee's
field's
firewall's
fix's
floppy's
folder's
font's
format's (data formats)
formula's
forum's
freeze's
Friday's
friend's
gem's
get's
give's
goal's
go's
grandkid's
group's
guest's
guru's
guy's
her's
hold's
hour's
hope's
Icon's
idea's
installer's
issue's
jack's (connectors)
jail's
kid's
kit's
letter's
light's
link's
LNB's
local's
lock's
lockup's
lot's
love's (_ love's you)
Mac's (Macintoshes)
menu's
mic's (microphones)
min's (minutes)
modem's
month's
mouth's
name's
one's
parasite's
pen's
person's
persona's
phone's
photo's (photographs)
picofarad's
pick's
pin's
ping's
pirate's
port's
porfolio's
port's
post's
pro's
price's
problem's
programmers's
program's
puff's
quota's
radio's
reason's
receiver's
Replay's
reply's
republican's
room's
router's
satillite's
say's
seem's
see's
setting's
setup's
shield's
show's
sitter's
skill's
slow's
smell's
spree's
stall's
sub's (subscriptions)
Subaru's
sue's (legal)
Sunday's
sweet's
system's
tab's
tax's
Tech's (technicians)
thank's
thing's
tier's
their's
ton's
tractor's
transponder's
tree's
umbrella's
video's
visa's
want's
warrant's
who's
Window's (OS)
woe's
work's
your's
No schwa (and other spellings):
anserr
bee caws
breckfust
butt turr
cuzz
defiNIT
duzunt
fassen
JAM - short for "just a minute"
misk (miscellaneous)
pay-purr
tabulspas (taplespoons)
UHclock, pianUH, windUH, pUHtatUH, etc.
ulbs (pounds)
some obvious redundancies:
AC current
ATM machine
canola oil
DC current
DVR recorder
GED diploma
HIV virus
ISP provider
LCD display
NIC card
PIN number
CD disk
VIN number
VCR recorder
SIT tone
SSD drive
SVG graphics
USB bus
Words which may need definitions:
craptastic
degroche
edibalism
fartogenic
holium
plopulant
The wrong word (people actually use these on newsgroups):
"add" should be "ad"
"aids" should be "aides"
"advise" should be "advice"
"affect" should be "effect"
"aide" should be "aid"
"air" should be "err"
"airborn" should be "airborne"
"aloud" should be "allowed"
"and" should be "an"
"angles" should be "angels"
"anymore" should be "any more"
"arc" should be "ark"
"ark" should be "arc"
"ass" should be "as"
"ass" should be "ask"
"baited" should be "bated"
"bake" should be "back"
"band" should be "banned"
"bandly" should be "badly"
"base" should be "bass"
"bath" should be "bathe"
"bare" should be "bear"
"baring" should be "barring"
"bazaar" sould be "bizarre"
"bearly" should be "barely"
"beet" should be "beat"
"berth" should be "birth"
"bite" should be "byte"
"bazaar" should be "bizarre"
"boarder" should be "border"
"boost" should be "boot" (startup)
"born" should be "borne"
"brake" should be "break"
"brakes" should be "breaks"
"braking" should be "breaking"
"breath" should be "breathe"
"breathe" should be "breath"
"break" should be "brake"
"breaks" should be "brakes"
"brows" should be "browse"
"butt" should be "but"
"buy" should be "by"
"buy" should be "bye"
"bye" should be "buy"
"bye" should be "by"
"cash" should be "cache"
"ceased" should be "seized"
"cheeped" should be "cheaped"
"chocked" shoukld be "choked"
"chord" should be "cord"
"cite" should be "site" (website)
"clause" should be "Claus" (Santa)
"cleaver" should be "clever"
"close" should be "clothes"
"close" should be "closed"
"cloth" should be "clothe"
"cloths" should be "clothes"
"composer" should be "composure"
"copulated" should be "populated"
"corals" should be "corrals"
"corps" should be "corpse"
"cruded" should be "crudded"
"cubical" should be "cubicle"
"curtain" should be "certain"
"dam" should be "damn"
"deliberator" should be "defibulator"
"device" should be "devise"
"dew" should be "due"
"dieting" should be "dying"
"dime" should be "dim"
"disburse" should be "disperse"
"dolor" should be "dollar"
"dose" should be "does"
"does" should be "doze"
"drier" should be "dryer"
"driers" should be "dryers"
"drove" shouls be "drive" (hrd drive)
"due" should be "do"
"dual" should be "duel"
"duel" should be "dual"
"ducks" should be "ducts"
"duel" should be "dual"
"eliminated" should be "illuminated"
"eluded" should be "alluded"
"erasure" should be "eraser"
"exceptable" should be "acceptable"
"fair" should be "fare"
"farter" should be "farther"
"feat" should be "feet"
"find" should be "fine"
"fines" should be "finds"
"fired" should be "fried"
"flees" should be "fleas"
"floes" should be "flows"
"flu" should be "flue"
"flue" should be "flu"
"forage" should be "forge"
"for" should be "four"
"foresite" should be "foresight"
"fur" should be "fir"
"fusing" should be "fussing"
"fuze" should be "fuse"
"gamboled" should by "gambled"
"gape" should be "gap"
"gauze" should be "gauss"
"glade" should be "glad"
"gluten" should be "glutton"
"god" should be "good"
"grate" should be "great"
"greatful" should be "grateful"
"greenwear" should be "greenware"
"grill" should be "grille"
"grille" shoud be "grill"
"grim" should be "grime"
"grove" should be "groove"
"half" should be "have"
"hell" should be "hail"
"hater" should be "heater"
"her" should be "here"
"herd" should be "heard"
"here" should be "hear"
"heroin" should be "heroine"
"heroine" should be "heroin"
"hole" should be "whole"
"HOLLY" should be "HOLY"
"hoovering" should be "hovering"
"hose" should be "host"
"intelligents" should be "intelligence"
"interphase" should be "interface"
"jam" should be "jamb"
"jamb" shoud be "jam"
"jambed" should be "jammed"
"knit" should be "nit"
"know" should be "no"
"laps" should be "lapse"
"latter" should be "later"
"leach" should be "leech"
"lead way" should be "leeway"
"lean" should be "lien"
"leek" should be "leak"
"leeks" should be "leaks"
"loose" should be "lose"
"looser" should be "loser"
"loosing" should be "losing"
"maid" should be "made"
"mail" should be "male"
"male" should be "mail"
"mall" should be "maul"
"maned" should be "manned"
"manufacture" should be "manufacturer"
"massage" should be "message"
"mater" should be "matter"
"medal" should be "metal"
"medium" should be "median"
"mental" should be "metal"
"metals" should be "medals"
"mettle" should be "metal"
"minuet" should be "minute"
"missusing" should be"misusing"
"moral" should be "morale"
"morale" should be "moral"
"mute" should be "moot"
"new" should be "knew"
"nobel" should be "noble"
"nock" should be "knock"
"noting" should be "nothing"
"off" should be "of"
"one" should be "on"
"opining" should be "opening"
"ore" should be "oar"
"out" should be "our"
"pain" should be "pane"
"pains" should be "paints"
"passed" should be "past"
"past" should be "passed"
"past" should be "path"
"patients" should be "patience"
"patrician" should be "partition"
"payed" should be "paid"
"peaces" should be "pieces"
"peddle" should be "pedal"
"pee trap" should be "P trap"
"petal" should be "pedal"
"pier" should be "peer"
"pined" should be "pinned"
"plane" should be "plain"
"plane" should by "plan"
"planed" should be "planned"
"plum" should be "plumb"
"plumer" should be "plumber"
"pole" should be "poll"
"poll" should be "pole"
"poping" should be "popping"
"potable" should be "portable"
"pray" should be "prey"
"principle" should be "principal"
"pryer" should be "prior"
"quarts" should be "quartz"
"quiet" should be "quite"
"quit" should be "quite"
"quite" should be "quiet"
"racking" should be "wracking"
"rafted" should be "crefted"
"raped" should be "wrapped"
"rapping" should be "raping"
"rapping" should be "wrapping"
"rational" should be "rationale"
"read" should be "red"
"recreation" should be "re-creation"
"reefers" should be "refers"
"reel" should be "real"
"relocate" should be "re-locate"
"resign" should be "re-sign"
"response" should be "respond"
"right" should be "write"
"righter" should be "writer"
"righting" should be "writing"
"riped" should be "ripped"
"rite" should be "right"
"robed" should be "robbed"
"role" should be "roll"
"roll" should be "role"
"Rome" should be "roam"
"roomer" should be "rumor"
"roomers" should be "rumors"
"rouge" should be "rogue"
"rout" should be "route"
"routing" should be "rooting"
"satin" should be "satan"
"scrabbled" should be "scrambled"
"scrapped" should be "scraped"
"scrapper" should be "scraper"
"secrete" should be "secret"
"sense" should be "since"
"sever" should be "severe"
"shit" should be "shut"
"shoot" should be "chute"
"shutter" should be "shudder"
"sigh" should be "sign"
"sight" should be "site"
"sights" should bt "sites"
"since" should be "sense"
"sing" should be "sign"
"site" should be "sight"
"site" should be "cite"
"softwear" should be "software"
"son" should be "soon"
"sooth" should be "soothe"
"soar" dhould be "sore"
"soul" should be "sole"
"sowed" should be "sewed"
"stagnate" should be "stagnant"
"spaying" should be "spraying"
"steak" should be "stake"
"steaming" should be "stemming"
"steaming" should be "streaming"
"steel" should be "steal"
"straight" should be "strait"
"strait" should be "straight"
"subpoena" should be "subpanel"
"succeed" should be "secede"
"succor" should be "sucker"
"sue" should be "use"
"suite" should be "suit" (lawsuit)
"sunning" should be "running"
"superstitiously" should be "surrepticiously"
"sweater" should be "sweeter
"sync" should be "sink"
"tail" should be "tale"
"tails" should be "tales"
"tanks" should be "thanks"
"tare" should be "tear" (separate)
"tears" should be "tiers"
"taught" should be "taut"
"testes" should be "tests"
"there" should be "thier"
"thier" should be "there"
"throw" should be "through"
"thrown" should be "throne"
"tenant" should be "tenet"
"threw" should be "through"
"to" should be "too"
"to" should be "two"
"toking" should be "token"
"too" should be "to"
"tracker" should be "tractor" (... feed printer)
"trail" should be "trial"
"turban" should be "turbine"
"undeserved" should be "underserved"
"undue" should be "undo"
"vial" should be "vile"
"vigilante" should be "vigilent"
"waist" should be "waste"
"waisting" should be "wasting"
"ware" should be "wear"
"ware" should be "where"
"waste" should be "waist"
"wave" should be "waive"
"waved" should be "waived"
"weaning" should be "waning"
"wear" should be "ware"
"weather" should be "whether"
"weekness" should be "weakness"
"where" should be "wear"
"which" should be "wish"
"white" should be "write"
"whits" should be "wits"
"whoas" should be "woes"
"wholes" should be "holes"
"widow" should be "window"
"widows" should be "Windows"
"witch" should be "which"
"wok" should be "work"
"would" should be "wood"
"wrecked" should be "wreaked"
"wringer" should be "ringer"
"wright" should be "right"
"wright" should be "write"
"write" should be "right"
"writting" should be "writing"
"yokes" should be "yolks"
"you're" should be "your"
"your" should be "you're"
In no way are these lists supposed to be complete