unusual definitions and related stuff
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  • bigurgitative - what goes down must come up
    catalog - list of everything you've done with cats
    caution - don't listen to crows
    cloe - singular form of the word "clothes"
    cocktail - have you removed the feathers yet?
    cold - sometime in the past, somebody had to coal it
    debut - rear end removal
    deductable - this table removes birds
    delighted - in the dark
    detailed - an unnaturally tailless cat
    deviled - has had the vile removed
    discovery - removing blankets from people's beds while they're asleep
    douglas - special material for airplane windows
    economics - the verbal study of mice
    exit - what a hen does after laying
    fulfilled - twice as much as halfilled
    gastrochronicity - getting hungry by the clock
    hogwash - got any dirty hogs?
    impeccable - birdproof
    income tax - the tacks you keep around to display the things you get
    layer - hen
    miracle - an event which requires things to be different from reality
    mister - something like a vaporizer
    newbie - what you get when a bee's egg hatches
    number - local anesthetic
    offer - assassin
    overwhelmed - just how much whelming is the right amount?
    plymouth - medical condition caused by eating too many tires
    politics - a large number of small parasitic animals
    rejoice - how did you like joicing the first time?
    retail - help a "detailed" cat
    ruthless - if you need ruth so much, call her
    sammable - can you guess what this means?
    thermowheelometry - telling how hot it is by trying to touch the steering wheel of a car that's been outside
    ungetoverwithable - seeming to last forever
    washable - give your bull a bath
    wishy washy - wanting a new washing machine
    Xidiotic - like "idiotic" but worse and more persistant

  • {a few I didnt create but found elsewhere}
    asset - a small donkey
    fibula - a small lie
    illegal - a big sick bird
    percussive maintenance - the art of smacking an electronic device to get it working again

  • My collection of real cut-and-pasted inappropriate apostrophes:
    (now being assembled in real-time)
    acronym's
    act's
    alkaline's (batteries)
    American's
    ancestor's
    antenna's
    antique's
    area's
    array's
    art's
    attorney's
    Bayou's
    beam's
    bin's
    bit's (pieces)
    blocking's
    box's
    broadcast's
    cake's
    call's
    camera's
    can's
    Canadian's
    candie's
    card's
    case's
    Cat's (Tidy Cat's litter) channel's
    circuit's
    class's
    cleaner's (air cleaners)
    Compaq's
    company's
    computer's
    contractor's
    cookie's
    corner's
    Cop's
    cost's
    croak's
    customer's
    day's
    degree's
    desk's
    desktop's
    DirecTiVo's
    doc's (documentation)
    driver's
    drum's
    electrician's
    electronic's
    emu's (emulators)
    emulator's
    eon's
    error's
    Exec's (executives)
    extra's
    eye's
    fee's
    field's
    firewall's
    fix's
    floppy's
    folder's
    format's (data formats)
    forum's
    freeze's
    Friday's
    friend's
    gem's
    get's
    give's
    goal's
    go's
    grandkid's
    group's
    guest's
    guru's
    guy's
    her's
    hold's
    hour's
    hope's
    Icon's
    idea's
    installer's
    issue's
    jack's (connectors)
    jail's
    kid's
    kit's
    letter's
    light's
    link's
    LNB's
    local's
    lock's
    lockup's
    lot's
    love's (_ love's you)
    Mac's (Macintoshes)
    menu's
    mic's (microphones)
    min's (minutes)
    modem's
    month's
    mouth's
    name's
    one's
    parasite's
    pen's
    person's
    persona's
    phone's
    photo's
    picofarad's
    pick's
    pin's
    ping's
    pirate's
    port's
    porfolio's
    port's
    post's
    pro's
    price's
    problem's
    programmers's
    program's
    puff's
    quota's
    radio's
    reason's
    receiver's
    Replay's
    reply's
    republican's
    room's
    router's
    satillite's
    say's
    seem's
    see's
    setting's
    setup's
    shield's
    show's
    sitter's
    skill's
    slow's
    smell's
    spree's
    stall's
    sub's (subscriptions)
    sue's (legal)
    Sunday's
    sweet's
    system's
    tab's
    tax's
    Tech's (technicians)
    thank's
    thing's
    tier's
    their's
    ton's
    tractor's
    transponder's
    tree's
    umbrella's
    video's
    visa's
    want's
    warrant's
    who's
    Window's (OS)
    woe's
    work's
    your's

  • No schwa (and other spellings):
    anserr
    bee caws
    breckfust
    butt turr
    cuzz
    defiNIT
    duzunt
    fassen
    JAM - short for "just a minute"
    misk (miscellaneous)
    pay-purr
    tabulspas (taplespoons)
    UHclock, pianUH, windUH, pUHtatUH, etc.
    ulbs (pounds)

  • some obvious redundancies:
    AC current
    ATM machine
    canola oil
    DC current
    DVR recorder
    GED diploma
    HIV virus
    ISP provider
    LCD display
    NIC card
    PIN number
    CD disk
    VIN number
    VCR recorder
    SIT tone
    SSD drive
    SVG graphics

  • Words which may need definitions:
    craptastic
    degroche
    edibalism
    fartogenic
    holium
    plopulant

  • The wrong word (people actually use these on newsgroups):
    "add" should be "ad"
    "aids" should be "aides"
    "advise" should be "advice"
    "aide" should be "aid"
    "air" should be "err"
    "airborn" should be "airborne"
    "aloud" should be "allowed"
    "and" should be "an"
    "angles" should be "angels"
    "anymore" should be "any more"
    "arc" should be "ark"
    "ark" should be "arc"
    "ass" should be "as"
    "ass" should be "ask"
    "baited" should be "bated"
    "bake" should be "back"
    "band" should be "banned"
    "bandly" should be "badly"
    "base" should be "bass"
    "bath" should be "bathe"
    "bare" should be "bear"
    "baring" should be "barring"
    "bazaar" sould be "bizarre"
    "bearly" should be "barely"
    "beet" should be "beat"
    "berth" should be "birth"
    "bite" should be "byte"
    "boarder" should be "border"
    "boost" should be "boot" (startup)
    "born" should be "borne"
    "brake" should be "break"
    "brakes" should be "breaks"
    "braking" should be "breaking"
    "breath" should be "breathe"
    "breathe" should be "breath"
    "breaks" should be "brakes"
    "brows" should be "browse"
    "butt" should be "but"
    "buy" should be "by"
    "buy" should be "bye"
    "bye" should be "buy"
    "cash" should be "cache"
    "ceased" should be "seized"
    "cheeped" should be "cheaped"
    "chocked" shoukld be "choked"
    "chord" should be "cord"
    "cite" should be "site" (website)
    "clause" should be "Claus" (Santa)
    "cleaver" should be "clever"
    "close" should be "clothes"
    "close" should be "closed"
    "cloth" should be "clothe"
    "cloths" should be "clothes"
    "composer" should be "composure"
    "copulated" should be "populated"
    "corals" should be "corrals"
    "corps" should be "corpse"
    "cruded" should be "crudded"
    "cubical" should be "cubicle"
    "curtain" should be "certain"
    "dam" should be "damn"
    "deliberator" should be "defibulator"
    "device" should be "devise"
    "dew" should be "due"
    "dieting" should be "dying"
    "dime" should be "dim"
    "disburse" should be "disperse"
    "dolor" should be "dollar"
    "dose" should be "does"
    "does" should be "doze"
    "drier" should be "dryer"
    "driers" should be "dryers"
    "drove" shouls be "drive" (hrd drive)
    "due" should be "do"
    "dual" should be "duel"
    "duel" should be "dual"
    "ducks" should be "ducts"
    "duel" should be "dual"
    "eliminated" should be "illuminated"
    "eluded" should be "alluded"
    "erasure" should be "eraser"
    "exceptable" should be "acceptable"
    "fair" should be "fare"
    "farter" should be "farther"
    "feat" should be "feet"
    "find" should be "fine"
    "fines" should be "finds"
    "fired" should be "fried"
    "flees" should be "fleas"
    "floes" should be "flows"
    "flu" should be "flue"
    "forage" should be "forge"
    "for" should be "four"
    "foresite" should be "foresight"
    "fur" should be "fir"
    "fusing" should be "fussing"
    "fuze" should be "fuse"
    "gamboled" should by "gambled"
    "gape" should be "gap"
    "gauze" should be "gauss"
    "glade" should be "glad"
    "gluten" should be "glutton"
    "god" should be "good"
    "grate" should be "great"
    "greatful" should be "grateful"
    "greenwear" should be "greenware"
    "grill" should be "grille"
    "grille" shoud be "grill"
    "grim" should be "grime"
    "grove" should be "groove"
    "half" should be "have"
    "hell" should be "hail"
    "hater" should be "heater"
    "her" should be "here"
    "herd" should be "heard"
    "here" should be "hear"
    "heroin" should be "heroine"
    "heroine" should be "heroin"
    "hole" should be "whole"
    "HOLLY" should be "HOLY"
    "hoovering" should be "hovering"
    "intelligents" should be "intelligence"
    "interphase" should be "interface"
    "jam" should be "jamb"
    "jambed" should be "jammed"
    "knit" should be "nit"
    "know" should be "no"
    "laps" should be "lapse"
    "latter" should be "later"
    "leach" should be "leech"
    "lead way" should be "leeway"
    "lean" should be "lien"
    "leek" should be "leak"
    "leeks" should be "leaks"
    "loose" should be "lose"
    "looser" should be "loser"
    "loosing" should be "losing"
    "maid" should be "made"
    "mail" should be "male"
    "male" should be "mail"
    "mall" should be "maul"
    "maned" should be "manned"
    "manufacture" should be "manufacturer"
    "massage" should be "message"
    "mater" should be "matter"
    "medal" should be "metal"
    "medium" should be "median"
    "metals" should be "medals"
    "mettle" should be "metal"
    "minuet" should be "minute"
    "moral" should be "morale"
    "morale" should be "moral"
    "mute" should be "moot"
    "new" should be "knew"
    "nobel" should be "noble"
    "noting" should be "nothing"
    "off" should be "of"
    "one" should be "on"
    "opining" should be "opening"
    "ore" should be "oar"
    "out" should be "our"
    "pain" should be "pane"
    "pains" should be "paints"
    "passed" should be "past"
    "past" should be "passed"
    "past" should be "path"
    "patients" should be "patience"
    "patrician" should be "partition"
    "payed" should be "paid"
    "peaces" should be "pieces"
    "peddle" should be "pedal"
    "pee trap" should be "P trap"
    "petal" should be "pedal"
    "pier" should be "peer"
    "pined" should be "pinned"
    "plane" should be "plain"
    "planed" should be "planned"
    "plum" should be "plumb"
    "plumer" should be "plumber"
    "pole" should be "poll"
    "poll" should be "pole"
    "poping" should be "popping"
    "potable" should be "portable"
    "poll" dhould be "pole"
    "pray" should be "prey"
    "principle" should be "principal"
    "pryer" should be "prior"
    "quarts" should be "quartz"
    "quiet" should be "quite"
    "quit" should be "quite"
    "quite" should be "quiet"
    "racking" should be "wracking"
    "rafted" should be "crefted"
    "raped" should be "wrapped"
    "rapping" should be "raping"
    "rapping" should be "wrapping"
    "read" should be "red"
    "recreation" should be "re-creation"
    "reefers" should be "refers"
    "reel" should be "real"
    "relocate" should be "re-locate"
    "resign" should be "re-sign"
    "response" should be "respond"
    "right" should be "write"
    "righter" should be "writer"
    "righting" should be "writing"
    "riped" should be "ripped"
    "rite" should be "right"
    "robed" should be "robbed"
    "role" should be "roll"
    "roll" should be "role"
    "Rome" should be "roam"
    "roomer" should be "rumor"
    "roomers" should be "rumors"
    "rouge" should be "rogue"
    "rout" should be "route"
    "routing" should be "rooting"
    "satin" should be "satan"
    "scrabbled" should be "scrambled"
    "scrapped" should be "scraped"
    "scrapper" should be "scraper"
    "secrete" should be "secret"
    "sense" should be "since"
    "sever" should be "severe"
    "shit" should be "shut"
    "shoot" should be "chute"
    "sight" should be "site"
    "sights" should bt "sites"
    "since" should be "sense"
    "sing" should be "sign"
    "site" should be "sight"
    "softwear" should be "software"
    "son" should be "soon"
    "sooth" should be "soothe"
    "soul" should be "sole"
    "stagnate" should be "stagnant"
    "spaying" should be "spraying"
    "steak" should be "stake"
    "steaming" should be "stemming"
    "steel" should be "steal"
    "straight" should be "strait"
    "strait" should be "straight"
    "subpoena" should be "subpanel"
    "succor" should be "sucker"
    "sue" should be "use"
    "suit" should be "suit"
    "suite" should be "suit" (lawsuit)
    "sunning" should be "running"
    "superstitiously" should be "surrepticiously"
    "sync" should be "sink"
    "tail" should be "tale"
    "tails" should be "tales"
    "tanks" should be "thanks"
    "tare" should be "tear" (separate)
    "tears" should be "tiers"
    "taught" should be "taut"
    "testes" should be "tests"
    "there" should be "thier"
    "thier" should be "there"
    "throw" should be "through"
    "thrown" should be "throne"
    "tenant" should be "tenet"
    "threw" should be "through"
    "to" should be "too"
    "to" should be "two"
    "toking" should be "token"
    "too" should be "to"
    "tracker" should be "tractor" (... feed printer)
    "trail" should be "trial"
    "turban" should be "turbine"
    "undeserved" should be "underserved"
    "undue" should be "undo"
    "vial" should be "vile"
    "vigilante" should be "vigilent"
    "waist" should be "waste"
    "waisting" should be "wasting"
    "ware" should be "where"
    "waste" should be "waist"
    "wave" should be "waive"
    "weaning" should be "waning"
    "wear" should be "ware"
    "weather" should be "whether"
    "weekness" should be "weakness"
    "where" should be "wear"
    "which" should be "wish"
    "white" should be "write"
    "whits" should be "wits"
    "whoas" should be "woes"
    "wholes" should be "holes"
    "widows" should be "Windows"
    "witch" should be "which"
    "wok" should be "work"
    "wrecked" should be "wreaked"
    "wringer" should be "ringer"
    "wright" should be "right"
    "wright" should be "write"
    "write" should be "right"
    "writting" should be "writing"
    "yokes" should be "yolks"
    "you're" should be "your"
    "your" should be "you're"

  • In no way are these lists supposed to be complete